As we continue this month of love we take time to reflect on the dynamics of relationships, whether it be a significant other, family or friendships.
It is human nature to focus on the self and how things impact us, so much so that we often forget about our roles in relationships and how our actions, words or lack thereof, impacts the other person and, by default, the relationship.
John Mayer’s “Love is a Verb” with the lyrics: “When you show me love, I don’t need your words, Yeah love ain’t a thing, Love is a Verb” reminds us that words ring empty when they aren’t met with action and intention.
We have been misled by film and media that love is supposed to be simple and easy and we forget that relationships require patience, work and commitment. It is a continued action, a repeated choice.
Here are some ideas on how you can change from a passive to an active participant in your relationships:
- Let go of the little things. If this is hard, practice the 5 minute rule: If this won’t matter in 5 years, give yourself 5 minutes to sit with this feeling and then let it go.
- Change your perspective. Try to see how the other person might be feeling and why. This will give you more of an understanding why they might be acting the way they do.
- Apologize, and mean it.
- Forgive, and mean it.
- Learn how to communicate with grace, support and respect.
For more tips on how to love with intention and action read here