“We can only follow our hearts when we learn the practice of stillness, we will never hear our hearts otherwise, it speaks softly – mostly.”
Rowena Mould, the Systemic Facilitator who was this week’s guest on the MYD Show to talk about following your heart, spoke on the show about saying “YES” to life and the freedom that comes from this agreement with life. With many Namibians saying that this year is going to be their “YES” year, we asked Rowena to explain the concept of saying “YES” to life in a little more detail.
According to Rowena “Agreeing and saying ‘yes’ to life and what has happened does in NO WAY condone bad behaviour. What is meant is not hanging on, being the victim of something that is over and which we cannot change. It is about Learning from the past, rewriting it, changing it by not emulating it. When we say “yes it happened, I agree it happened and what can I learn from it” only then do we truly move forward.
Rowena notes that in the history of the world, many things have happened that create within us a sense of sadness or negativity. She explains this by saying that when you say the word apartheid, you can feel that the word creates a negative feeling inside ourselves, almost like our body is saying a resounding “NO”. She explains that when we think about that gross social injustice and feel the “NO” inside ourselves and then move our thoughts to how it ended, we can feel that “NO” move to a “YES”. It’s in this “YES” that the senses in our body change.
Rowena notes that “Life will always try to get your attention and it will do everything and anything to achieve this, even bring the negative to you. It took me a very long time to understand the truth of that.”
Rowena has suggestions for finding a ‘way out’ if you find yourself in a situation that creates a “NO” inside of you, these includes :
- “Find that still quiet space, where you know, through your silence you are connecting to something bigger than you, no matter what you call it. This silence is somewhat different to prayer as we are not asking for something and neither are we in conversation. We can ask for help but then we need to return to the silence where we are just quietly, in true humility, waiting to hear. The ‘knowing’ of what to do will surely come, but we often miss it because we don’t return to silence on a regular basis. We can only follow our hearts when we learn the practice of stillness, we will never hear our hearts otherwise, it speaks softly – mostly.”
- “In keeping with the MYD theme this week, follow your heart when that small still voice guides you. We so often negate our intuition, I still do so today! So many times I have known what to do but because it made no logical sense, or because I was shy or embarrassed I did not follow that lead.”
- “Be kind, yet assertive, in your communication. It takes practice as there is a fine line between aggression and assertiveness.”
Rowena has experience in working with children who are bully’s or who are being bullied and she notes that “before answering in a negative, or aggressive way, place your hand in your heart area and just breathe before answering, even if the answer is an I don’t know.”
She outlines some areas to be aware of when dealing with bullys that includes :
- Facing a bully : be assertive, stand firm and tall, look the bully in the eye and say something like : I don’t deserve this, or I am out of here, or what did you call me and start laughing as you walk away repeating the words loudly to yourself. Bullies are the victim of their circumstance. Know that and walk away.
- Be an original, stay in your integrity – be still and ask yourself : Is this right for me? Do not be afraid to be mocked, stay with what it right for you. Belonging kicks in here especially with young people, but being with the in crowd is so short lived and comes at such a price. People want you to join them to make them feel good – they are not really interested in how you feel or how it affects you.
- Do not blame. Take responsibility for your own actions by so doing you feel so proud of yourself and you will attract the right people.
- Form a support group, invite leaders to come and talk to you.
You can get in touch with Rowena and find out about the work she does by visiting the ECL Foundation website here : ECL Foundation