Gone are the days of Hollywood romances where couples hold hands every second and passions burn eternally. While those stories might be fun to escape into, true love in the real world is far more nuanced and, dare we say, more interesting. This Valentine’s Day, let’s ditch the unrealistic expectations and celebrate the deeper, richer love that blossoms over time.
Enter renowned philosopher, Alain de Botton, who reminds us of the wisdom of the ancient Greeks when it comes to love. They identified three distinct types:
- Eros: The fiery passion and intense desire that ignites new relationships. Think butterflies in the stomach and late-night conversations.
- Philia: The deep, abiding friendship that develops over time. This is the love that endures, built on shared laughter, mutual respect, and understanding.
- Agape: The selfless, compassionate love that sees you through life’s ups and downs. It’s the love that motivates you to forgive, support, and be there for your partner, even when things get tough.
While Eros often gets all the attention, Philia is the secret weapon of long-lasting love. It’s the foundation upon which a passionate connection can truly thrive. Think about it: wouldn’t you rather share your deepest secrets, celebrate victories, and weather life’s storms with someone who feels more like a trusted friend than just a fleeting flame?
This Valentine’s Day, don’t just focus on rekindling the initial spark. Instead, celebrate the Philia in your relationship. Here are some ideas:
- Plan an activity that fosters conversation and connection: Think board games, cooking classes, or even a long walk with meaningful chats.
- Express your appreciation for the little things: Leave a sweet note, plan a thoughtful errand, or simply offer a genuine compliment.
- Invest in shared experiences: Whether it’s learning a new skill together or taking a weekend getaway, creating memories strengthens your bond.
- Practice open communication: Share your thoughts, feelings, and vulnerabilities with each other. True friendship fosters honesty and transparency.
Remember, love is a journey, not a destination. Embrace the different phases, nurture the Philia, and watch your love grow deeper and stronger with each passing year. Happy Valentine’s Day, not just to the passionate lovers, but to the cherished friends and supportive partners who make life’s journey truly special!
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